The intention of this blog is to consider some of the less clichéd footballing stories. So imagine my disappointment, and possibly yours too, on finding that I can't avoid this initial blog making mention of the latest Beckham incident. "Incident" fits perfectly as it's the generic term for any incoming story that the news channels deems necessary to have scrolling across the bottom of your TV screen, preferably in the lurid black and yellow colours favoured by bees and wasps to highlight imminent danger. It’s not necessary to be a sporting icon to end up on Sky Sports News breaking news tickertape. They'll happily put up an urgent message if Rochdale's third choice keeper runs out of shortbread. So in a world cup year when England's right sided contenders are falling like skittles I can see why Sky Sports might want to have to schedule their reporting around Beckham's Achilles.
Send in the A Team! Get “roving reporter” Gary Cotterill on a flight (I'd like to think this involves a Mr T style tantrum - I ain't getting on no plane foooool! - requiring Georgie Thompson to slip something into his drink) and dispatch him to the trouble spot; AKA a Finnish hospital. Even Kay Burley of "real" news fame was whisked off to stand in front of an obligatory indistinct building, Beckham's surgeon's house perhaps or maybe even the local ankle sock manufacturers, whilst solemnly proclaiming that all the eyes of the world were focused on this location, a veritable footballing ground-zero.
I expect that by now your are wearily expecting a comfortable ride through the usual wannabe-journo topics regarding Beckham's influence on England and the associated media circus (we've lost our best potential option for right back since you asked and yes, I do believe his absence might lessen the pressure on Capello's team come June). But my concerns for England are more Wright-sided than right-sided. Who will be the commercial broadcaster's choice of pundits when we finally get to the World Cup? Will LA Galaxy let David risk his glittering MLS career by allowing him to sit on the sofa alongside ITV's finest? If so, would David take umbrage at Wrighty'sTM unwavering belief that SWP is the finest wide player England have ever had? Most importantly of all, will he be any good as a pundit?
I can guarantee that preliminary talks will have started the moment he hobbled into the San Siro changing rooms as the various networks battle to secure some of that Brand Beckham. Up till now the Beckham image has always been tightly controlled by the close knit management team round him (for an informative insight I can highly recommend Grant Wahl's book "The Beckham Experiment"). If his role is to be that of moronic cheerleader where would this leave Ian Wright? Would Beckham leap up and down during the game providing ITV with their vital half time filler footage? Or is it possible that he might surprise us all and show a tactical acumen that didn't always manifest itself in an England shirt? ITV should be worried that he might start off on the right hand side of the sofa, drifting inside to get involved with queries aimed at Andy Townsend and finally distributing hollywood style questions from Jim Rosenthal’s lap.
You may wonder why I have not mentioned the Beeb so far. There is one reason why Beckham won't be signed up by the BBC this year. It's not just that they already have a steady line-up of pundits. In the past they have not been adverse to having a token cheerleader either; Ian Wright’s first foray into punditry was at the BBC before complaining, without a hint of irony, that he was being used solely as a “comedy jester”. Which would have been true had he actually been in the least bit funny. In fact the BBC might be the only broadcaster with the money needed to tempt Beckham. So what's stopping them from completing a real life Panini dream team sticker book album of Shearer, Lineker, Beckham? Well, with the tabloids after them we can already expect a headline or two thundering about the amount money spent (I predict "More BBC staff in South Africa than players"). They surely won't risk providing the world's richest player with accommodation and expenses for a month?
So far the Beckham-as-pundit debate seems to be more posing more questions than answers. I guess that is also the worry for any prospective interviewer.
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